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Saturday 18 September 2010

Spring Meditation - Conclusion



It happened softly...bump, I was there finally at the sea bed at just over four miles below sea level. Amazing. Despite shaking I was full of sickening wonder. My caplight seemed to be dimming as I peered around about me. The drones were vague blobs of darkness against the backdrop. None seemed near. I was here, in this strange place where few had ventured. I was here by myself.




Well, now I was finally in this place, I thought that I should sit down. The sea floor was much harder than I anticipated and the lack of mud and silt was surprising. I thought to myself that it was like soft rock. And so I sat.
It was almost immediately that I noticed something that I could hardly make out. What was that in the near distance about 9 metres in front of me?

I thought for a moment that I could see movement, but then, no not movement but familiar shapes instead. Shapes of...human bodies...in a pile? I glanced about for my drones. They were nowhere near, in fact I could not see them. This pile of bodies in front of me, it could not be drones because these beings had hair and faces and pale flesh reflecting in the unnatural glow of my caplight.

I stood, unsure, yet captivated, and ambled unsteadily toward what I saw. As I drew nearer I noticed the bodies looked muscular and bulky. It was inexplicable that in such an undersea pressure these bodies were not crushed or affected in any way. Confusion and disorientation suddenly overwhelmed me and I cried out in my tomblike headpiece. The only person hearing this inhuman sounding screech was human me.



I was unable to move further and remained rooted to the spot just 1 metre in front of this impossible vision. My scalp prickled as a face of a body lying on top turned to look at me. He rose up quickly and stood or stooped in front of me. I saw him there looking at me with an expression of agression. Then, equally as bizarrely I heard him speak and saw him move his lips.

'he took the flesh and left our souls, because without our flesh we were diminished and buried'

Unable to make any sense whatsoever of these words or this situation, I was highly alarmed to see the other bodies slowly rising. Their hair and clothing flapped in slow motion with the unseen undersea currents.

I involuntarily backed up although gloom seemed to be around me at all sides. I saw nothing save the bodies standing or stooping purposefully in front of me.

It was only then that I noticed these walking, floating corpses had numbers on their clothing. Like big numerials on t-shirts and figures on the thighs of the trousers.

I think in my terror that I may have half screamed my plea 'God help me', which hurt my own ears. 'Help me, help me, help me'

I began to long to be at home safe in my cabin and cushioned safely into my breathing space. I closed my eyes and imagined it.

When I opened them again something was different. The bodies had their hands outstretched crying soundlessly out the same words 'God help me...help me, help me, help me' A look of anxious agression wracked every face. The silence belied the action causing me to wonder yet again what was happening.

Then, as if nothing more strange could then occur, a golden glow began pervading the scene in front of me. The glow started with them, but continued outwards, outwards and I looked out around at it as it surrounded them and I.

All at once, the light flickered and what I can only describe as twinkled or sparkled.

It was quite beautiful and I felt lost and surrounded by it. I was soon reminded of how far I was from anyone though when my phenosuit commenced an emergency bleeping. I looked at the display to note with greater alarm that the air remaining was insufficient to continue life.

It took me a few moments only to acknowledge my impending death. I would in fact never return to the surface to recount this experience to a living soul. However, despite this awareness I felt light and untroubled. My vision clouded and as my last minutes ticked by I felt the pressure increasing and starting to crush my body. I was relieved to finally slip from consciousness just prior to feeling any pain.

This was the start of my calling which I had waited all my life for.

Monday 6 September 2010

Spring Meditation - late April

It's my 70th birthday and today I am deep sea diving to 4 miles. As I climb into my new phenosuit, I reflect on how amazing things are these days; trip to the sun, teleportation and volcanic power cells - all science fiction to me not so long ago.
As I jump into the icy water I have no visibilty into the depth of water. One last gasp of atmostpheric air and I commence the submergence. My suit is working perfectly and I am unafraid really as the caplight ignites for me. Visibility is still reduced, it will take some time for my surroundings to emerge, well I hope so anyway.
Down I go, down, down.




Still nothing to see really. I have been sinking now for...how long? My dive buddies are all mechanical today so no fellow human being to share this experience with. Still, it is probably safer to dive with the seadevil drones anyway.
How far can I see now? I reckon visibility is about 2 metres now. I am at..tap tap... 2.5 miles down apparently. It has been about 2 and a half hours to get here? I am feeling slightly cold, perhaps my suit is not working. I had better get a drone to check it.
I gesture to the nearest green buddy...but, what's this? I gesture again, no reply or response? That's odd, I can see him, why can't he see me? I try again...still no response. I'm sure he is looking my way.



A small shard of panic creeps in. I do feel cold now, and start to either shiver or tremble. The thought that things may go badly makes me consider aborting my adventure and ascending back up. If those drones are going to ignore me I will have to ascend on my own which could be dangerous in itself.
Just as I am considering my situation, a purple drone turns and check-gestures my position. I quickly wave in a 'help' way and three of them approach in the gloom. Thank goodness for that. I am able to communicate my predicament and purple clicks my suit. Warmth starts to return. However, a strange chill which has nothing to do with temperature seems to remain.

It has been 3 hours and 55 minutes and so we are nearly the full 4 miles down. Soon I will see the ocean floor of the great north sea. I can't seem to stop shaking, which means that my experience is not as enjoyable as it could be. The drones have gestured that there is no suit malfunction so it is just me, the human, feeling fear perhaps. This fear is very strange though. I'm not used to having this sensation.

Thursday 2 September 2010

Healing and self esteem issues

I came across this article online as drawn by the Lord, and have spent a lot of time pondering suffering, healing and self esteem.

Link address is:

http://www.depression-and-anxiety-recovery.com/low_self_esteem.html

I know that this is something crucial in understanding how to reach people. May be in some ways I have done this many times in my job. I can see myself walking toward this as a calling. As some things come into focus, other things strike me blind. I am still thinking this over but wanted to make a post in case anyone out there has greater wisdom. Quite likely! Will there be anyone reading this tho?